A Manual For Raising Humans in Interstellar Space

it’s important to stop at a nice planet sometimes and let your children explore.

Image by Comfreak from Pixabay

Congratulations on acquiring your new human child! You have just taken the first step in a new and exciting adventure in inter-species relationships! We’ve adopted out over 300,000 human children through our Pirate Orphan and Abandoned Planet initiatives. There are a few things you might need to know to properly raise your human child. We’ve highlighted a few below.

• Humans are adapted only to the conditions on Terra as they have not yet had time to evolve for quick biological adaptation. Be sure to save the gravity settings in the nursery at 9.807 m/s² and if you plan on taking a trip to one of the hub cities, make sure they get the requisite nanite shots to maintain proper health.
• Much like many children of intelligent species, human children require affection and physical stimulation to properly grow their nervous systems and create positive feedback loops. Robotic nannies are a poor substitute and we recommend a more hands-on approach. Human children enjoy hugging, rocking, kisses on the forehead, reading them picture books, laughing together, and singing lullabies. Check the video instruction guide for how to perform these actions.